MAN ABOUT TOWN

The club I run every Thursday, Q + A, has its 11th birthday this week. Feel free to come for a visit, a drink and a boogie!

I found this at work while looking for an image of emo boys pashing for an article. No, really, I did!

This just in from the BDO publicists: " Store tickets for the MELBOURNE BIG DAY OUT have SOLD OUT in record time! This is unprecedented! Final tickets for the MELBOURNE BIG DAY OUT are only available through Ticketmaster ph 136 100 and www.bigdayout.com Be quick or you will miss out! Do believe the hype!

I just received this delightful, anonymous piece of vitriol in my inbox. Re: Your Bloggy Thing From: Anonymous Sender [anonymous@remailer.metacolo.com] Your Interests: Should have read: Just a past it, burned-out, tedious old queen who can't write for shit. Don't you love the way anonymity allows cowards to say whatever they like? I wonder if it's from someone I know? Assuming I do, it's clearly also from someone whose opinion I don't give a fuck about. LOL!

I've taken a couple of minutes to update my blog links, folks, so without further ado, please welcome: Blather Blog Sublime-ation Keep It Foolish A Wild Young Under-Whimsy Fluffy as a Cat Broken Left Leg And in the Gay Blogs section: The Pink Pen Stephen from Melbourne My Life in the Slow Lane Evol Kween Best Gay Blogs If I Bite You Hard Enough Click, read, enjoy!

For the first time in, well, ever, I'm actually looking forward to the new James Bond film, Casino Royale . The Guardian 's Peter Bradshaw has described the film as 'ridiculously enjoyable', and says that Daniel Craig is "a fantastic Bond, and all those whingers and nay-sayers out there in the blogosphere should hang their heads in shame... He's easily the best Bond since Sean Connery, and perhaps even - well, let's not get carried away. " By all accounts it's a grittier, grimmer take on the Bond franchise than has ever been seen before. That, coupled with the fact that Craig is bloody sexy (watch Love is the Devil if you don't believe me, in which he plays the rough trade lover of artist Francis Bacon) means that I'm actually enthused about seeing the film, which opens next Thursday. Me, I'm going to see it next Monday night at a media preview. I have a plus one for that screening. I wonder who I'll take...? By the way, if you...

Razzle Dazzle is a new Australian film opening next year, which I was lucky enough to catch last Wedbesday night at the Palace Films Christmas party (do some companies like to get in early, or what?) at the Westgarth Cinema. It’s a rare experience to walk into a cinema knowing absolutely nothing about the film you’re going to see. Razzle Dazzle , directed by Darren Ashton ( Thunderstruck ) is a mockumentary that bills itself as ‘a journey into dance.” It’s a bright, breezy comedy about the world of competitive dance eisteddfods, a sort of Strictly Ballroom about the under 18 set. The focus is firmly on the adults, including a single-minded stage mum played by Kerry Armstrong, and the rival directors of two dance academies, the well meaning but foolish Mr Jonathon (played by English actor Ben Miller) and the snide Miss Elizabeth (Jane Hall). While the humour never gets as black or as savage as I felt it needed to be to really make this film work, its gentle humour and PG rating sho...

Last night was 3RRR's 30th birthday party, held in the appropriately baroque surroundings of The Forum, and what a splendid affair it was. With the theme of 'Party like it's 1976', almost all the crowd made the effort to dress accordingly. There were some truly disturbing suits on display, some wonderfully garish frocks, an entire gang of Sharpies, several tennis players, footballers, superheroes, and sundry other 70's personalities. Myself, I donned a rather charming kaftan and a fetching wig, and proceeded to have an excellent time. So excellent in fact that the sun had well and truly risen by the time I got home... This afternoon has been spent curled up on the couch with a good book, James Ellroy's The Big Nowhere , and a quick visit to the local polling booth where I voted Green, having given up on Labor several years ago after their disgraceful response to the Tampa affair. Tonight's going to be a quiet one - just me, a bottle of red, and the ABC's...

Shock, horror! MEDIA RELEASE Wednesday, 22nd November 2006 Pagan Green Party Threatens Future Of Victoria The Rev Fred Nile, Leader of the Christian Democratic Party, has issued a warning to the voters of Victoria concerning the pagan Green Party. "The voters of Victoria only have to study the anti-Christian agenda of the pagan Green Party to know what will happen to Victoria if the Greens win the 'balance of power', the 'balance of blackmail' in the Victorian Upper House. In the NSW Upper House the pagan Green Party has strongly opposed the daily Opening Prayers of the NSW Parliament and have twice unsuccessfully moved Motions to have them removed (2001 and 2003) but were defeated both times, by 30 votes to 7 votes in 2003. The Greens strongly supported the Religious Vilification Bill that had draconian gaol sentences and have persecuted the two Victorian Christian Pastors, Daniel Scot and Danny Nalliah. The Greens have introduced a number of anti Chri...

Two parents decide to play a prank on their young son and his friend who have been watching horror movies. The result? Fucking hil ar ious! (Thanks to Evol Kween , who I stole this from.)

One of the great auteurs of modern American cinema is dead. The caustic and irreverent director of movies including M-A-S-H , Nashville and The Player died on Monday night US time, at the age of 81. There's a beautiful salute to him here , at Salon.com, which I urge you all to read.

So Ian Thorpe has retired. So what? Does that really justify the outpouring of grief, the wailing and moaning in the media? Anybody had think he'd bloody died or something!

Any suggestion that the Greens are preferencing the Liberals or Nationals anywhere in this weekend's Victorian election is entirely false. Despite anything that might be in the media, or in any garbled reports you may receive, the Greens are NOT recommending preferences to the Liberals (or Nationals) in any seats. We ARE recommending a preference to the ALP in the vast majority of the marginals that matter, and in most other seats. In some seats, we will leave it to the voters' choice, by providing a split or open ticket that allows them to Vote Green and then preference whichever major party they choose. In the Upper House we have already determined to provide all preferences to like-minded parties first, then Labor, then the Conservatives, then the candidates with the most extremely opposed position to The Greens. By contrast, the ALP has preferenced the so-called Country Alliance ahead of the Greens. This Party is essentially a Shooters-and-Loggers Party. Please visit our we...

Maybe it's because my so-called best friend (yes, I mean mean you , Andrew Plozza, formerly of Trafalgar East) threw a bucket of cowshit over me in front of a group of friends in 1983, when I was 15, to distance himself from Trafalgar High School's token poofter; but I've always been a trifle insecure... At the launch of the unauthorised biography of 3RRR tonight, I was constantly mentally pinching myself, reminding myself that I'm actually a part of such an amazing, integral part of Melbourne. I felt shy, awkward and out of place, so I did what I normally do in such circumstances: I got drunk, and I overcompensated for my nervousness. To quote Radiohead: "But I'm a creep I'm a weirdo What the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here I don't belong here ." The fact that apprently I actually do have a place at 3RRR makes me realise how incredibly fucking special the station is, in that it has a place for neurotic bastards like me. If you'r...

Last Wednesday saw the opening night of the Melbourne Theatre Company ’s final show for 2006, Tomfoolery . A musical review based upon the deliciously satirical works of American Tom Lehrer , the show strings together everything from standards such as ‘ Poisoning the Pigeons in the Parks ’ and ‘ The Masochism Tango ’ to songs the mathematician-turned-musician wrote for children’s educational television in the 1980’s. A framework of witty quotes based around Lehrer’s ability to send up seemingly every musical form in existence holds the show together. The cast of Rhonda Burchmore, Mitchell Butel, Gerry Connolly, Bert Labonte, Melissa Madden-Gray gave uneven performances, as well as the unfortunate impression that they weren’t quite ready to open. Words were forgotten, and cues missed. The lighting technician was also off his mark several times throughout the evening. All of this can be put down to opening night nerves, and is definitely not damning. It didn’t seem to faze the audien...

I've just had a very peculiar conversation at my local milk bar, which I'd gone to in order to drop off some dry cleaning (two dress shirts - one white with a wing collar, the other a black Gothic number - and a suit coat in case you were curious). As the tired-looking Vietnamese woman behind the counter was serving me, a younger woman was serving a bearded bloke in his mid 40's at the counter opposite. He had the gaunt, ruddy look of an alchoholic, and as she rang up his single purchase, he began talking, although not actually conducting a conversation with anyone save himself. Two plump children, sapped of energy by the heat, lay prone on the floor behind the counter. When the younger woman spoke to one of the kids in her own tonugue, her scruffy, bearded customer snarled, "Speak English!" Without thinking of the possible consequences , I snapped, "Why should she?" across the counter at him. He glared at me. I glared back. The two women behind the coun...

They caught me at an impressionable moment, the bastards. After three hours of radio, a voiceover production session for the National Gallery of Victoria, and a steak for lunch, I was waylaid and coerced into agreeing to appearing on TV - Channel 31 - at 8.15 in the goddamn morning tomorrow, after a late night of DJ'ing, to spruik 3RRR's 30th birthday shenannigans. God help me!

FAR FROM EVERAGE RICHARD WATTS shares a salacious word with the housewife superstar, Dame Edna Everage. ON DECEMBER 19 1955, a humble suburban housewife from Moonee Ponds made her first appearance on a Melbourne stage. Then known as Mrs Norm Everage, today she is one of Melbourne ’s most famous residents. Her trademark spectacles, her purple bouffant hair and spectacular yet tasteful costumes are recognised and celebrated around the globe. “I’m basically still a Melbourne housewife,” Dame Edna Everage trills. “I am. And I’m a realist. Women are . I think it’s because we bring children to the world. Or, in the case of Madonna, we import them.” This year she returns to Melbourne to celebrate her Golden Jubilee. “I couldn’t imagine life without stage shows,” Edna confesses. “People may think of me as a television person, or just as a legendary figure in Australian history, but I’m so much more than that.” Next month she appears in a new stage show at The Arts Centre, while s...

If you haven’t yet had the opportunity to visit the magnificent Eyes, Lies and Illusions exhibition at the Australian Centre for the Moving Image (ACMI) then you’re missing out on one of the best screen culture events of the year. I swung by Federation Square on Sunday afternoon, assuming that I’d be able to skim through the exhibition in half an hour before getting to another show at the National Gallery of Victoria. Instead, I spent an engrossing two hours in slack-jawed, wide-eyed wonder. Eyes, Lies and Illusions presents the pre-cinematic entertainments of the past, from the Renaissance to the Victorian era, in a seven-part exhibition drawn from the collection of German experimental film-faker, professor and curator Werner Nekes , via London ’s Hayward Gallery . Exploring the history of optical trickery, and a world of wonder that pre-dates the modern moving image, this collection of magic lanterns and magic mirrors, camera obscura and praxinoscopes is truly a marvellous sho...

A YOUNG LESBIAN who fled Uganda in 2004 after her father threatened to kill her faced deportation from the UK on Monday night. Faridah Kenyini was only 17 when she arrived in Britain . She settled in Newcastle , where she met her partner, security guard Sarah Garanette, 25. At an earlier asylum hearing, the judge implied that she was lying about being a lesbian and the danger she faced. Consequently, her plea for asylum was refused. An attempt to deport her last week failed because of an administrative error Garenette, Kenyini’s partner, has voluntarily offered to travel to Uganda with her following the registration of their civil partnership. Uganda ’s record of persecuting homosexuals is well documented. The country's president, Yoweri Museveni, once proposed the arrest of all homosexuals. He has also called for a return to days when “these few individuals were either ignored or speared by their parents.” Kenyini dreads returning to Uganda . “I am afraid that my r...